Isn’t it crazy how you grieve the death of friendship?
The loss of a friendship is always painful. The most painful being the cause of drifting apart. The reason I say this is because a friendship dies because you have drifted apart, so it’s not like when you have an argument, or the other friend or yourself has caused something to end the friendship. These types of endings always have an understanding because there is a CAUSE. Although when a friendship just drifts and ends it is painful, you don’t understand why, there isn’t any closure.
There are certain friendships that end and truly break your heart. You look back at all the memories and begin to laugh alone, that laughter soon turns into sadness. How? When? Why?.. I don’t understand? When you’ve attempted to hold on to a friendship and they are SCREAMING with their actions and eyes LET IT GO. Darling, let it go. You can’t be the only one fighting. EVERY relationship is two sided and when it becomes one sided it is only right you let it go.
I never knew a friendship could leave you heartbroken, grieving. Ugh. I always believe I am over it, but deep down I’m not. I am angry at their actions, I am angry at the fact they don’t care to fight for our friendship like I do, I am angry for still caring. But you see.. there is only so much a human being can take until they loose their fucking shit. And I am close to loosing my shit with people. As I said in one of my blogs, I burn bridges without an explanation. You know why? Because when I was holding onto that friendship, they did not care, so when you’ve got to the point you no longer care, you’ve lit up the bridge, that’s when all of a sudden they’re ready? No.
You have to learn to be your own best friend. It isn’t always easy, especially when you’re battling with your own mind, but my darling you have to learn to. People will let you down, they will fuck you over, they will burn you, they will leave scars on your bodies; it is a part of life; but never let it become a constant pain no matter how much you once loved that friendship or them.
I am learning to be happy ALONE. I am learning that being alone is greater than 10+ fake friends. Friends who don’t even really know or understand you. I am learning to be comfortable with being alone. Anyone who is willing to walk out of your life, isn’t worth chasing. Also God removes people out of our lives once they have served their purpose. I truly believe this. It’s mind-blowing. This isn’t the case for EVERY ONE in your life, but when someone leave your life, have that outlook on it.
Learn to be alone, learn your worth in every relationship.